Josh is out of town and I am sitting here at home so bored!  Bored.  The yard got started today.  We should have grass Saturday.  The greens the family across the street are moving in today.  Heath and berke are extremely excited!  Pamela has diaper rash right now.  She screams every time she pees or poops.  It is sad.  Thank goodness for desetin.  I feel bad for the single mothers.  It is hard not having the husband around.  Josh sure is doing amazing.  He is amazing!  He helps me so much. I don't know what I would do without him.  

Ok.  I can't get enough of this girl!  Today we dropped all 3 kids off at grandma bad grandpas and josh & I went on a date to the temple to do initiatories.  Last year I made a goal to go to the temple once a month and we did it!  I do not keep goals very well, but this one I was so determined to conquer!  I could not have done it without my spouse and the help of babysitters (my sister and dad/stepmom).  Right now I am at work.  I am worried and always concerned with the kids and leaving them with josh.  It makes me nervous.  I hope she is sleeping well for him.  I miss her and can't wait to snuggle with her.  

Pamela. Pamela.  I sure can't get enough of you. I love when you wake up from your naps. I even love when you are screaming. Last night you kept us up for four hours!!! That that is okay.  Today we went to Jill and Tafts house and they watch the kids while I went grocery shopping.  That was super nice of them and they gave us a bunch of diapers much-needed and a darling outfit.   Heath & berke played with Stetson.  We have a kiddie pool in the back and the boys swim everyday.  I am feeding Pamela right now. I sure love the sounds of her when she feeds and gulps the milk!  

Pamela is growing up too fast.  I am so grateful for her.  She is beautiful.  I am feeling overwhelmed with trying to share all the love I want to with my boys.  I feel like most of my focus is the newborn pam.  I don't feel like I am giving Joan enough attention .  This is difficult for me because I love to give love.  I love my boy so much!  I feel like I am yelling at them more than I am giving love.  I need to figure it out so I can give more love.  Today we went to the splash pad with KELLI and her kids.  It was fun!!  

Today

Pamela is getting so big.  She still keeps us up and screams.  We are trying to get her used to josh for when I go back to work.  She has taken a few bottles.  Nicole Abbott stopped by this evening.  We knew each other in Florida.  She was so kind to come see us.  She brought Pam some girl toys!  We had good conversation.  Berke and Heath love to fight over who gets to hold Pamela.  They love Legos and always want mom to help build a Lego city.  Heath loves to go play with friends.  Thru love their friend Isaac next door.  Berke is very motivated to plant basketball.  I make them shoot ten hoops before they get to play video games. They are valiant at this.  I love my family.